Learning to Love Myself and Letting Go of Self-Hatred

Note from me: I understand that using the word self-hatred may be triggering or uncomfortable, but I would also like to remind you that moving through your triggers is how you begin to jiggle them loose. This whole post is written and energetically woven with love in the hopes it will make the discomfort a bit more palatable until you are ready to move through this experience on you own; if needed.

I spent a good 10 minutes trying to find a word that I could use rather than saying self-hatred. I really tried, but then I realized that no word properly expresses that feeling aside from the word self-hatred. Plus, that word embodies the discomfort that it radiates out into the world. Self-Hatred is a tough word to swallow. To me, saying it/writing it feels icky, sticky, cruel, shameful, intense, and embarrassing. Which means, that for me, when I harbored those feelings, I felt icky, sticky, cruel, shameful, intense, and embarrassed.

It’s fascinating that we can exist with something in our energetic field for YEARS and as soon as we are ready to shift and grow, we can no longer tolerate it. It becomes amplified to the point where it becomes impossible to ignore. If you are stubborn enough (clears throat…definitely not calling myself out here), you can prolong letting go what you know you need to release, but eventually, I, and you, will get there.

So, how did I shift? Like with most growth, the first step is awareness. I decided to see how much love I was capable of receiving by doing a meditation to hold the vibration of the love that I have for my three cats in my heart and in my physical body. I decided to try to sit in that love for 5 minutes. It. Was. Hard. Oh my gosh, it was SO uncomfortable and foreign and an eye-opening reminder that just because we want something, doesn’t mean we are ready to have it energetically.

Once I acknowledged how hard and uncomfortable it was, I decided to do it again the next day. Each day, was a little easier. Though there were some days that felt like I was going backwards.

In addition to this, I decided to be kinder to myself. I would always be cruel and unkind when I was exercising and couldn’t do something right, so I decided to treat myself with compassion. Turns out, the more you stop beating yourself up, the more fun you can have. Who knew?? Then I began to applying this idea to work, friendships, relationships.

I also noticed that food played an important roll in how I felt about myself. If I was being really down on myself or unkind, I would eat foods that I knew were not what my body needed or wanted, forget to take vitamins, etc.

Days turned into weeks turned into months, and I began to notice I felt lighter. When I made a “mistake” working out, I no longer berated myself. When I did something that I would have deemed a colossal error, I treated myself with grace. When I was having a low day, I still made sure to at least have some nutrient dense foods. And you know what else? I started treating myself like I was someone in my life that I loved. And, it feels really really nice to be treated this way.

The bonus from all this is that I also noticed I started treating strangers with more kindness and compassion too, because when we shift our vibration, we shift what we put out into the world.

Did you know that sometimes we do not need to look at the lower vibrations we hold? By choosing to look and focus on bringing in love, in this scenario, we are creating an environment that is not capable of holding on to self-hatred, because if you love yourself unconditionally and treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and grace, self-hatred cannot exist, because it has nothing to feed off of energetically.

Steps to take to allow you to transform towards accepting more love in your life…

*Acknowledge that you may be holding self-hatred within your energetic space and your physical form.

*Acknowledge how hard you are on yourself.

*Sit in the vibration of like / love (meditation below)

* Offer your body foods that will nourish it.

*Practice grace and forgiveness with yourself by reminding yourself that you are human. I find this can be especially hard for people that have lived many lifetimes, because we make the assumption that we should know better by now rather than acknowledging that this may be something we are still learning.

*Practice treating yourself with kindness.

*Say “I like you” to yourself in the mirror and watch how you physically respond. You can work up towards saying “I love you.” Repeat Daily.

Meditation Practice (start with 1 minute and add a minute each week)

Find a comfortable seat and close your eyes.

Take a deep breath in. Exhale sigh it out your mouth.

Focus on someone you love deeply out in front of you.

Take one iota of that love and visualize placing it in the center of your chest.

With each breath allow that speck of love to grow and expand; just outside of your comfort zone.

Thank yourself for showing up and thank you loved one for being a touchstone for your understanding of love.

If you are interested to connect further you can do so here or find me over on instagram at @embracethelight.co. If you ever have any subjects you want me to cover, please feel free to send me a message.