Seriously. It's true. It is far easier to call yourself out for being un-photogenic than it is to call yourself out about not being comfortable being seen.
There is a reason I LOVE photobooth photos, because people are just themselves. No one is judging them. They are safely tucked away in a little box. And, they just get to be. No one else is looking at them. It is just them and the camera.
Hating having your photo taken is very different than seeing yourself as un-photogenic. We often “hate” having our photo taken when we were forced to do so at a young age or if our boundaries weren’t being respected. We consider ourselves un-photogenic if we are not comfortable being seen.
Why would someone not want to be seen? Isn’t it the best feeling in the world when someone can truly see us? Many reasons, and yes and no? Often times we don’t want to be seen if…we were picked on as kid, talked down to or dismissed by our parents, treated unfairly when we did speak our truth, told our feelings weren’t real, just to name a few. We can also not want to be seen if we are tired and exhausted, because some times feeling seen feels like it holds the same responsibility as stepping up.
So how does one learn how to find comfort in being seen? Well, it’s the same as if we were facing any other fear. You do it anyway. You practice treating yourself with kindness, compassion, and grace. It also requires you to think outside of yourself. Which, let’s be honest, are all great habits to carry throughout your life. I wish I could just tell you to be comfortable being seen and you will be more photogenic, but it is far more nuanced than that.
How did I get over being seen and learn to be comfortable being in front of the camera? About 8 years ago, I think I was finally able to acknowledge that I HATED being in front of the camera…which is kind of funny considering I was a professional photographer for over a decade. But there was a part of me that knew I needed to get over this, even if I didn’t know why (flash forward to now when I post reels daily and am constantly talking to clients over zoom). So, I started telling myself I wanted to be comfortable being seen. And, surprise, opportunities started presenting themselves…I would randomly get stopped to be interviewed walking out of a movie (that ran as an AD on social media), I was asked to join a group photography show and give an in-person talk (way more terrifying than being photographed), and I started asking to have photographs with friends.
It started to become about the moment and the memory rather than how my hair looked or what my physical features looked like. I started taking a breath and asking myself to feel into the present moment. And you know what, it started to work. I still take more than one “selfie” from time to time, because I am human and I still judge myself, but I am far kinder than I used to be and my phone is full of photographs of me with my favorite humans and I am comfortable showing up for my business in ways that wouldn’t have been possible without addressing my fear of being seen.
Here are few tips for working towards being comfortable being seen…
*Before having a photo taken, close your eyes, breathe, and find your center. Remind yourself that you are safe.
*Have someone who loves you take photographs of you, and then have them go through the images with you and have them tell you why they love certain ones.
*Remind yourself that this is about the moment, the place, and capturing the experience. That is what you will look back on 20 years from now.
*Be kind when you critique yourself when you look at photographs.
You’ve got this!
I am an Intuitive Healer based in Los Angeles. I use a variety of different energy practices and tools to support humans as they navigate shifts and transformations. All of my sessions are done virtually. If you are interested, please reach out for a free chat to see if energy healing can support you or you can send me a dm over on Instagram. I look forward to supporting you.
