When we are in times of great shift, grief, or transformation the benchmark human response is...it takes time, you will get there. Over time, it can shift into - it's been so long, you should be there by now or why are you still grieving. This standard human response is misguided and misinformed. We are not better or worse, because we are healing. We are not wrong to take as long as we need to heal. Healing is in fact has nothing to do with time, and everything to do with consciousness.
We can spend years grieving until we choose to take that one small step towards our new path or perhaps its a giant leap! You choose how you grieve, you choose when you shift that grief, and only you can decide to live life from a different perspective.
What people usually mean when they say "It takes time." is "I don't really know what to say or how to respond to you being vulnerable, so I am just going to say what other people say." This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the person who has said it.
Healing is challenging, exhausting, invigorating, frustrating, magical, annoying, beautiful, and unexpected. It is literally all of the things, sometimes all at once. Please know that this is coming from someone who has been through it all - the passing of a partner, a father, betrayal from someone they hoped to build a life with, the loss of pets, depression, and so many other things.
When it comes to healing, take as long as you need, and then when you are frustrated and annoyed that nothing is shifting, ask yourself - what are my next steps? How can I choose to bring new into my life? How can I shift my perspective? Remind yourself daily that you are learning, and give yourself permission to stumble and fall.
I chose to become a healer, because I have learned how to heal from many different traumas and heartbreaks. I chose to be a healer, because I have the ability to hold space for those finding their way from a place of kindness, love, and non-judgement. I chose to heal myself before stepping up to help others.
If you feel stuck or unsure of your next steps on your healing journey, reach out to me for a chat to see if having me support you would be a good next step for you (book your call here). The call is no charge to you and there is zero obligation to book...think of it like a meet & greet. :)